1. You actually don't know everything.
You know how when you're 13, everyone is an idiot for not getting that you completely have your life together and no one (especially your mom ugh) should ever be able to tell you what you can/can't wear because you're a teenager, which is basically the same as being an adult?
Yah, by 20, all that confidence goes away and you find yourself on the phone with your mom (the same one who had no right to tell you what you could/couldn't wear) while in a Midwestern grocery store asking her how to cook green beans because you realize you actually don't know.
So, that was super specific....and embarrassingly personal. But you get it. Being on this planet for a couple decades will show you how many people (goods one and not-so-good ones), experiences and adventures there are to swim in. It became very clear to me that I don't know it all, I don't have it all together and that green beans don't cook themselves.
And you know what? That's fine. It's better than fine. We are all cute little walking packages of what we experience in this life. Imagine living a life where you knew every corner and crevice of knowledge about every little thing. Imagine never learning new things, never being wow-ed, never being left stunned by how bomb someone is. How boring. How dreadfully boring.
Embrace how little you know. Go saturate yourself with new, cool things. Go meet people who turn your life upside down. Go buy a freakin' cookbook.
2. You're cooler than you think.
When you get out of that high school mentality of wanting to be like that one girl with the long hair that everyone likes, you'll have more time to look at yourself and see yourself for all that you are- dark corners, morning breath, passionate heart, killer fashion sense and all. I promise that when you genuinely do that, you'll learn to dig it and respect it.
3. Being passionate and interesting is hotter than being hot.
PRETTY GIRLS ARE A DIME A DOZEN. Have something to say. Care about something. Read a book.
4. Salad as a meal isn't that bad.
Health is important. Metabolism slows down. Yes, you're young. Yes, you're hot.
But throwing in some green won't kill you.
My favorites are Panera's Asian chicken salad, the kale salad at Westville (NYC) and the steak salad at Brio. Don't want those? Make your own. It's easy.
5. Not everyone is deserving of your time and energy.
Respecting everyone is a given. There's never a need to be ugly.
However, some people are just trifling. SO trifling, so ridiculous, so rude, etc.
The skill of looking at someone and hearing their words without letting them saturate your mind and heart is golden.
I have an orbit of people around me who I trust so deeply with my thoughts and energy. Outside of them, I love people fully, but I know not to tell these people things that can blow up in my face. I know not to take certain things they say to heart.
Dealing with humans is super easy when you bluntly understand that people are just people. See someone for who they are, stop expecting them to be the way you want them to be. Use that reality to determine the correct placement for them in your life.
6. Not every situation/person requires a reaction.
This ties into my last one. If the person isn't in your inner orbit and the situation won't matter two weeks from now; let it go. Breathe. Roll your eyes. Laugh at something petty. Let it go.
7. Texting back is optional.
Again, not everyone deserves a response. If it's stupid or annoying, and you have nothing nice to say, it's okay to just not reply.
8. Read receipts don't make you real.
And not having them doesn't make you shady.
9. Some people won't like you.
Believe it or not, not everyone is going to love you. I mean, there are people in this world who don't like Beyonce.
Some people won't like you because you are too happy, to full and too bright. It's hard to really like someone who's got it going on when you, yourself, feel like you're lacking.
Other people won't like you because your laugh is too much for them, they think you have an attitude problem, etc.
None of that is your problem. If you can look at yourself and truly love and appreciate who you are, what others have to say is irrelevant. No one is perfect. We all have things to work on, and there are too many people who will uplift and appreciate us for us to trip over people who won't.
10. Some of these people will be your friends, and they shouldn't be.
Be very aware of who doesn't clap for you when you win, and be even more aware of who doesn't love on you when you lose. If the friend who is closest to you is not the most excited for you when you're up, you need to rethink that. I can whole heartedly tell you that it will change the whole entire game.
There are enough people in this life who won't celebrate you. There are plenty of people who will try to make you feel small.
You don't need to keep them in your inner circle.
11. Choosing boys over your girlfriends is lame.
SO SO SO LAME. ALWAYS. Chicks before....hahah.
12. Romance is nothing like how the movies say it is.
Yes, Instagram shout outs and flowers are nice. However, to me, real romance is someone pumping your gas because it's cold and you're not feeling like getting out of the car. It's really listening. It's understanding. It's trying. It's checking in. It's bringing Taco Bell. It's giving hugs. It's the little stuff that someone does cause you're special to them, and their life would be so much more dull if you weren't in it.
Not as glamorous, but so meaningful.
13. You aren't a dairy product. You don't need a label.
One of the most memorable nuggets of love I ever received from a friend was simply, "I support you, but i don't see why you'd beat yourself up to fit into someone else's space. You shine so bright on your own."
YOU (CLAP) SHINE (CLAP) SO (CLAP) BRIGHT (CLAP) ON (CLAP) YOUR (CLAP) OWN.
14. Doing what you love will never let you down.
I think a ton of people are obsessed with trying to be the most popular, have the most money and appear to be the most successful. Honestly, you will be good at some things and bad at others. You will receive opportunities. The best place to be is somewhere you're excited to go. The best work to do is work that moves you.
15. Kindness should not be a luxury.
Be nice. OH MY GOSH. Be nice.
If someone's cute and rude, it's disappointing.
If someone's not cute and rude, it's confusing.
Just be nice always.
16. Drink more water.
Do it. Your skin will thank you. You'll feel better. Just do it.
17. There really is no right way to do style.
Not at all. Shop for what you like, what fits you and what will always make you smile when you put it on. Mix it. Match it. Make it work. Own it. You don't need to fit in a bubble. Trends and magazines are fun, but they come and go. Good style is timeless.
18. Lipstick is your best friend.
No matter how plain your outfit is. No matter how dark the circles under your eyes are. No matter how over it you are, lipstick will make you look like the most put together person who has ever existed.
19. Rings. And then more rings.
Another effective way to look like you have your life together.
20. Finding the perfect bun for you is such a good decision.
Rain, humidity, the morning after, an "I just can't" day. Buns will not fail you. Whether it be tousled and messy at the nape of your neck or smoothed up into a top-knot, find the bun that works for you and rock it.
21. Reading books and listening to different types of music is always a good decision.
Jay Z once said that you can pay for school but you can't by class.
You can be taught all sorts of facts, skills and computer programs- but there is nothing more intriguing and impressive than being a well-rounded person with legitimately interesting things to say.
22. Chivalry isn't dead. He just needs to go.
Yes, it's the 21st century. No, that doesn't mean you aren't worthy of having the door opened for you. Yah, you're a strong, independent women. Part of that is understanding your worth and demanding respect.
He isn't opening the door for you because you can't open it. He's opening it because you are a gem and you deserve those kinds of courtesies.
If he never does it, he needs to be checked.
23. He is more afraid of you than you are of him.
Boys get nervous and goofy over girls they really like. They really do. So, take comfort in knowing that while you were compulsively running your fingers through your hair and checking yourself out in the mirror like your life depended on it, his pre-date ritual was probably a pep-talk with his boys and a few push-ups. He also probably compulsively fixed his hair and checked himself out in the mirror a million times.
24. Glitter always wins.
Whether it be the internal kind that makes you different, or the external kind that you apply to your eyelids. It is the best stuff there is. No matter how expensive your highlights are or how many pairs of shoes you own- there is nothing more appealing or endearing than having that "it". "It" only exists within the uniqueness of an individual. You have your own; she has her own. You can't use yours until you find it and hug it.
25. There is no magic in trying to be anyone other than who you are.
None at all. I think that's the biggest lesson I have learned in this whole life thing so far. I am who I am. I have tried changing it, making it someone else and tearing it down to fit into boxes. I am not perfect, and I have had to work some things out with myself- but, all in all, I am who I am. The moment I decided to embrace that and just be was the moment that I set myself free.
Regardless of where this life takes you, you have your soul. Find it, nourish it, embrace it. You deserve that.